Friday, March 18, 2011
Anna was wearing blue jeans and a very
conservative top which accentuated her
new-found slimness. a brown thick band
of watch on her right wrist. a black leather
handbag.she always feels guilty about using
the leather ones but the substitutes have not
proved to be fit for roughing it up.Khadim footwear.
the only ones that didn't give her feet rough skin.
as she explored floor to floor...she can tell the
positions of various sections blindfolded...she remembered
her answers to Armaan's messages.
Anna:One of the most
powerful visions i
was the first
earth from outer
space. The image of
a blue planet
floating in deep
space, glowing like
the full moon on a
Anna:Always forgive ur
annoys them as
urself not to be
what it might
appear to others
that what u were or
might have been
was not otherwise
than what u had
been ud have
appeared to them
to be otherwise-alice in wonderland
all the days before Armaan answered, she had waited.
and she had done one other thing. she had opened her documents
and looked for an appropriate pic to go with her Orkut profile.
which could justify her present glam while grasping the old looks...
for an old acquaintance to recognize her as herself, the Anna of
roundish face, thin lips and bright eyes.she looked like a teenager
in her mid-twenties...and she has matured as a woman now and there
lie the difficulty.would he be able to recognize in this woman that girl?
because a girl she was then.... (to be contd.)
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
the love that you withhold is the pain that you carry.
who said this? she doesn't remember.the line sings
in her ears like an attacking bee.bee in the bonnet.this
phrase reminds her of Agatha Christie.bee...bonnet..
double bee..Bibi, proper noun...Satyajit Ray' story..
as she searches for her favourite brand Biotique's
numerous items in Bigbazaar.she goes through the
shelves, religiously, choosing or discarding according
to her needs...the counter-girls hovering nearby, ready
to help with suggestions, eager to push sales of a
particular brand.why Biotique? try this, try that..
she feels embarrassed...these girls, standing for hours
and serving customers..tired lines beneath the eyes..
feels guilty as she goes materialistic headlong.foods, nuts,
cheese, masala tea and face-packs, creams,serums, body oils,
cleansers...all herbal products.and she feels her most polite
smile directed at these girls to be condescending..
have any of them got her very own particular brand of Armaan?
she touches the shelf containing the beauty-brand products
bearing Armaan's synonym.she doesn't buy them.
(to be contd.)
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
law reminds her of him.she avoids the legal topics...in the newspaper,
on television, in films..everywhere..and the topics haunt her with an obstinacy,
like his name. she is reminded of an Iranian poem which she had read in her
far out in the forest of Chinar, the storm rages madly,
the cashew nut-moon shines up in the sky and i am reminded
of you whose very name is forbidden to me...
this river-like youth, this runner-like time never mingles
with each other.Time stares at her youth from across
the waters and sighs.i wanted to be your river, i want
to be your river...for you to glide smooth, glide rough...
(to be contd.)
this winter is seeing rains finally. cold drops...thip, thip
thip all night long..the whole courtyard resembling a pool
in the shivering morning. Anna goes to bed and imagines nights..
nights with Armaan. as she has done all these years. as she has
decided to remain his till the end of time..her time.and these rainy-cold
nights fill her with thoughts lovely, of Armaan and his sensual eyes,
the stare..sole key to her solo heart. Anna shivers, enjoys the shivering,
the chattering of teeth as she finishes supper in a perfunctory manner.
in the morning Armaan sends messages.in the afternoon.at night. he chats her
up anytime he pleases as she looks for affection, in vein. she goes through
his messages and her answers.the dilemma, whether she should revert back to
the mode of self-revelation, albeit in a symbolic way. or to give dryanswers to his friendly-naughty messages. she feels it is not exclusive,
this chat, he probably does it with all of his female acquaintances..its
not 'their' conversation. Anna and Armaan's. it is conversation.just.
commonplace. natural. social communication via technology.
(to be contd.)